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peter, Page 40

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "An Iguana On Mars?" published December 15, 2013 - Jason: Our world has changed forever, Peter. Check out this photo from the Curiosity rover. Peter: What about it? Jason: A UFO website says it shows what could be an iguana on the surface of Mars. Here. I'll zoom in. Peter: Iguanas aren't on Mars! That's just a rock! That's TOTALLY just a rock! Jason: That's what I thought, too, until I ran the image through some custom sharpening filters. I already checked. Quincy's definitely in my room. Peter: Don't show this to Paige. She's not ready.

An Iguana On Mars?

December 15, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Gullibility Research" published December 8, 2013 - Jason: I'm doing a psychology experiment for school on gullibility, wanna help? Peter: What do I have to do? Jason: Go stand outside in the freezing wind wearing shorts an a t-shirt and when people look at you funny, greet them with a fake Australian accent. Tell them that since you're a southern hemispherian, the weather in December is much warmer for you. Then keep track of who falls for it. I need age and gender. There's a teen supermodel convention in town, unfortunately, so your data might skew a little female-heavy. Peter: An excuse to talk to lots of hot girls? Give me that clip-board! Jason: If your skin turns blue, just say you have bruises from rugby. Peter: G'dai lahv! Ai dingo ate miy barbie!... Jason: "Male. 16. Gullible." Andy: Peter Fox, get back in this house! Are you insane?!

Gullibility Research

December 8, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Mall of Duty" published November 24, 2013 - Jason: Ok, so once you're done with the tutorial, click the mall icon and select a store. Paige: Ok, I picked one. Jason: All right, now press "O" for your mission objectives. Paige: "The invasion of Nordstromdy: defeat enemy lines and secure stylish beachwear at 75-percent savings." Jason: Get ready. It's starting. Paige: I can't see anything. Why's it so dark? Jason: It's 3:00 a.m. Equip your night vision goggles. Paige: AAAA! There's like an entire battalion camped out here! Jason: Don't panic. Remember the tutorial. Check your inventory. Paige: Keys...Credit cards...Gum...Ah, here we go! Cellphone! Page: Is this that new Call of Duty Mod? Jason: Yeah. "Black Friday Ops." Paige: But wait...if I call in an airstrike, won't that hurt the beachwear?

Mall of Duty

November 24, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Clever Title" published November 17, 2013 - Marcus: Innocuous inquiry. Jason: Introductory response. Declaration of joke's premise. Marcus: Skeptical statement. Jason: Support of premise via examples, usually three. Logically yet idiotic conclusion. Marcus: Dryly delivered punchline. Jason: Unnecessary dialogue. Marcus: We're pretending to be comic strip characters. Peter: You guys are so weird. Jason: Don't speak. Just hold this over your head.

Clever Title

November 17, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Hide and Go 'Eek!'” published November 10, 2013 - Peter: Aaaa! Where is it?!? Paige: Where's what? Peter: "Rabbitty Rainbow's Reading Adventure"! The video game! It was in the drawer! Aaaa! "Peanut Butter's Puzzle Jam" is also missing! And "Wee Scotland"! Paige: Why do you care? We played those when we were little. Peter: How do you think I keep Mom from finding all my M-rated games?! I hide them in old E-rated cases! Those have my copies of "GT&A 5," "Blood Vendetta Squadron" and "Psychonesia II: Nightmares Guaranteed"! Paige: Oh. Peter: Where are you going?! Come help me look! Paige: You might want to help me look for my phone first. Woman: Look at all the educational games your babysitter Paige dropped off earlier! Girl: Wabbitty Wainbow!

Hide and Go “Eek!”

November 10, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Slowhandy" published October 13, 2013 - Andy: What's with all the tools? Roger: I was thinking I'd fix that loose gutter. Andy: The one I asked you to fix five weeks ago? Roger: Yeah. Andy: The one I also asked you to fix four weeks ago? And three weeks ago? And two weeks ago? And about a dozen times last week? I had someone come out and fix it on Friday. Roger: Oh. Well, you can't say I didn't try. Guess that gives me a free afternoon to watch football, at least. I hope you're taking notes, son. Peter: That's weird. Mom just said the same thing to Paige.

Slowhandy

October 13, 2013

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