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peter, Page 33

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Competitive Eating" published July 3, 2016 - Andy: Have you seen Peter and Jason? Paige: They're out back having a hot dog eating contest. Andy: Really? That doesn't sound very fair. Peter can out-eat a hippo. Paige: It's not a contest to see who can eat the most. Andy: What sort of contest is it, then? Peter: First one to barf loses. Jason: And you have to swallow an entire bite. Roger: Guy, c'mon! They aren't that burnt!

Competitive Eating

July 3, 2016

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Yard Clippings" published June 19, 2016 - Peter: Dude, I promised dad I'd mow the lawn. Jason: But my grass topiaries!

Yard Clippings

June 19, 2016

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "College Dreams" published May 29, 2016 - Andy: Hey Peter, have you given any thought to what colleges you might want to visit this summer? Peter: Not really. Why? Andy: Your father and I are trying to decide where to take you kids for our family vacation and it'd be nice if we could kill two birds with one stone. Maybe once finals are over you can put together a list of things you're looking for in a school and we can find a few good candidates and go from there. Peter: I can give you a list right now if you want. #1: World class food... #2: Hot babes... #3: Luxurious dorm rooms... #4: No morning classes... #5 A cush, high-paying job waiting for me after graduation... Andy: So basically we should vacation at Disney World, then. Peter: Why Disney World? Andy: Isn't that where Fantasyland is located? Peter: Oh, and #6: Affordable tuition.

College Dreams

May 29, 2016

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Holed It" published May 22, 2016 - Roger: Did that seriously go in the cup from 146 yards away?? Peter: I think so. I'll check. Roger: I wish I could hit golf balls half as well as I hit divots. Peter: Yup, hole in one! Want to save it?

Holed It

May 15, 2016

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Raining WHAT?!" published April 17, 2016 - Jason: Why do people say it's raining cats and dogs? Is it like a prank to get kids who want a free pet to run outside and get soaked? I mean, what do cats and dogs have to do with water, anyway? Wouldn't aquatic animals make for better imagery? Also why not use different species depending on the severity? If I said it was raining salmon and otters one day, and sharks and whales the next, you'd know which was heavier. Peter: So what would this rain be? Jason: It's pretty light. I'd probably just say it's raining leeches and roundworms. Peter: Eww! Yuck! Jason: See? And you can still prank kids if you want!

Raining WHAT?!

April 17, 2016

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Force Outs" published April 3, 2016 - Jason: Can you imagine how dominating a Jedi or a Sith would be as a major league baseball pitcher? HE could use the force to make the ball curve in any direction! He could use his mind tricks on the umpires so every pitch would be called a strike! In close games he could make the other team choke. Literally. The only problem is his lightsaber bat would cut the ball in two. He'd never get a hit. Peter: If he pitched in the American league he wouldn't have to bat. Jason: A perfect solution! We should have these discussion more often! Peter: We didn't have this discussion. And if you tell anyone we did...

Force Outs

April 3, 2016

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