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teacher

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Cell Phony" published March 1, 2020 - Microorganisms observed in various water samples: Pond Water, Puddle Water, Distilled Water, Our Cafeteria's Water. Teacher: I feel like you made this last one up. Paige: Says the loyal school employee.

Cell Phony

March 1, 2020

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Giving Thanks" published November 24, 2019 - Andy: Doing homework? Jason: Yeah. For Thanksgiving my teacher wants us to list ten things we're thankful for. I came up with nine, but I'm stuck on the last one. Andy: Oh, speaking of Thanksgiving, I have some bad news. Holistic Foods was all out of pickled alfalfa sprouts. I'm not going to be able to make my famous turkey stuffing this year. So, back to your homework... You need to think up one more thing you're thankful for? Jason: Nope. All done.

Giving Thanks

November 24, 2019

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Capital Punishment" published September 22, 2019 - Jason: As you enter the dungeon, you see before you an elderly woman. She says that in order to pass, you must answer her questions correctly. Are you ready? Marcus: Yes. Jason: "What is the capital of Michigan?" Marcus: Lansing. Jason: "What is the capital of Nevada?" Marcus: Carson City. Jason: "What is the capital of Pennsylvania?" Marcus: Philadelphia? Jason: WRONG! She shapeshifts into a demon, plunges a fist into your chest and rips out your heart! Marcus: Ouch. Teacher: About the way you two study for tests... Jason: It helps us get extra-motivated. Marcus: You see before you an elderly woman...

Capital Punishment

September 22, 2019

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Cell Division" published January 13, 2019 - Teacher says: Paige, about your diagram of cell division... Paige says: Did I get the math wrong?

Cell Division

January 13, 2019

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Energy Boost" published October 7, 2018 - Teacher says: Mr. Fox, is there a reason why you're standing on your chair? Peter says: It's to boost my energy. I was feeling a little sluggish. By my calculations, standing up here gives me an extra 300 joules of potential energy from gravity. Teacher says: Ah, but you had to expend energy to get up there. Your total energy hasn't increased. Peter says: I had Steve lift me up. Teacher says: Fall Break can't come soon enough. Peter says: Thanks for teaching us this stuff, by the way!

Energy Boost

October 7, 2018

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Fake News" published May 6, 2018 - Teacher: A reminder, class, we'll be having a math test on Monday. Jason says: Fake news! Teacher: Excuse me? Jason says: Don't believe her! She's lying! She's a teacher pushing her "teacher agenda"! You can't trust a word she says! There won't be a test! Don't bother studying! It's fake news, sheeple, wake up! Sorry just trying to lower the curve a little. Teacher: I never should've assigned watching C-Span.

Fake News

May 6, 2018

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