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school, Page 18

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Finals Simulator" published May 19, 2013 - Andy: Shouldn't you be studying?? It's finals week! Peter: Mom, relax. Jason's upstairs working on my simulator as we speak. Andy: Your what? Peter: I'm paying him to write me a computer app that will simulate taking the final exam in each one of my classes. It should be pretty sweet. He's using the 3-D engine from "Haloshock Tournament". Astronauts train with simulators, soldiers train with simulators, even some doctors now train with simulators...I figure it's gotta be an effective learning tool, right? Andy: Peter, your first two tests are tomorrow! Peter: Jason says if you'll waive his bedtime tonight he can deliver a working beta by 4:30 a.m. that'll give me a solid three hours for training. You're cool with that, right? I mean, my semester grades are at stake. Make sure the simulator accounts for my eardrums being destroyed. Jason: Was that mom screaming? She's getting louder, have you noticed?

Finals Simulator

May 19, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Field Trips" published May 12, 2013 - Woman: See this big, flat patch of ground? What name would we give it if they grew corn here? That's right! And what would we call it if instead people were playing soccer here? Correct! Now suppose it was full of oil wells. What would we call it then? Jason: I think our teacher takes these field trips way too literally. Woman: Now pretend I had a magnetometer. Who can tell me what that would let me measure?

Field Trips

May 12, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "NDA Tryouts" published May 5, 2013 - Paige: What's this? Morton: It's my signed non disclosure agreement. It prohibits me from publicly divulging any information about our relationship. Paige: We don't HAVE a relationship. Morton: Not, yet, but if somehow we ever did and I told anyone, under the terms of this NDA I'd owe you a billion dollars. In this era of social media, knowing who you can trust to keep private matters private is increasingly important. I thought you'd take some comfort in knowing that my discretion is now contractually guaranteed. Allow me to demonstrate. Pretend you were to say something like "Morton, I secretly love you. You are the hottest guy in the school and especially the robotics club. Let's make out behind the physics lab." Watch how quiet I'd keep it. Oh, wait, I guess you'd need to actually say if for the demo to work. Paige: Morton, dream on! Morton: No, no, it's Morton...I...secretly... Dr. Ling: Did one of you kids drop this $1 billion I.O.U.?

NDA Tryouts

May 5, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Higher Achiever" published February 24, 2013 - Teacher: So who can tell me how to compute the area of triangle? Teacher: Yes, Eileen? Eileen: I believe it's 1/2bh. Teacher: Very good! Did everyone hear that? Jason: I hate you so much right now.

Higher Achiever

February 24, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Heart Attack" published February 10, 2013 - Paige: I really hate the airflow pattern in this classroom. boy: Paige, this was on my desk. I believe it's yours.

Heart Attack

February 10, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Don’t Ask" published January 27, 2013 - Roger: How was school? Peter: Don't ask. Roger: How was school? Paige: Don't ask. Roger: How was school? Jason: Well, let's see... Peter and Paige: We tried to warn you, Dad. Roger: Son, can you pause while I get another beer? I forgot you had a test today. Jason: ...So then on problem 118 I substituted the 2x+7 I'd obtained in 11a which yielded...

Don’t Ask

January 27, 2013

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