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2020, Page 5

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Math Help" published February 23, 2020 - Jason: Hey, Paige, mind double-checking my math on this homework problem? Paige: This is a first. Jason: I know, but Eileen Jacobson and I are locked in a dead heat for the highest grade this quarter. I can't afford to make any stupid mistakes. Paige: Let's see... Yeah, I get the exact same answer as you. Jason: Eek. Good thing I checked. Paige: What's that supposed to mean? Jason: Don't worry about it. Thanks for the help. Paige: What did you mean?!

Math Help

February 23, 2020

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Mega Combo" published February 16, 2020 - Cashier: Is something wrong? Peter: Um, yeah, I ordered one of your mega combos. Cashier: And? Peter: I only received three things: A large burger, large fries and a large soda. Cashier: Right. That's what it is. Peter: You do understand that the prefix "mega" means "one million"? Seems to me that truth-in-advertising laws require you to add 999,997 more food items to my tray. I'll wait. Cashier: The "mega" actually refers to the number of calories. Peter: Oh. I knew there had to be a loophole. Steve: Solid effort, though.

Mega Combo

February 16, 2020

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Chocolate Sampler" published February 9, 2020 - Paige: Ooo... Is that Valentine's candy? Roger: It's a two-pound box of chocolates for your mother. Paige: Is it a kind she likes? Mom's pretty picky when it comes to chocolates. Maybe you should let me sample one, just to make sure. Oh, wait. It's an assortment? I should probably try one of each type, in that case. Yup, these are all good. You'll be fine. Peter: Ooo... Is that Valentine's candy? Roger: It's a one-pound box of chocolates for your mother.

Chocolate Sampler

February 9, 2020

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Quakertown Quince" published February 2, 2020 - Andy: Happy Groundhog Day! Jason: Pfff. Where's Iguana Day, I ask you. Seriously, Iguanas are way better than groundhogs when it comes to weather matters! Take Quincy here, for example... Every night during the winter, I stealthly hide him in Paige's tank top and shorts drawer. The morning you hear screaming is the morning you know spring temperatures have arrived! Andy: What about the nights when I hear screaming? Jason: OK, I'm not always as stealthy as I should be.

Quakertown Quince

February 2, 2020

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Blendo Italiano" published January 26, 2020 - Roger: One slice of pizza... Two slices of pizza... Three slices of pizza... Anddd... liquify! My diet only says that I can't eat certain food. Peter: I see where I get my genius from.

Blendo Italiano

January 26, 2020

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Idiot Proof" published January 19, 2020 - Employee: Can I help you? Andy: I'm in need of a good phone case. Employee: We have a number of option. Are you looking for something more stylish, or more protective? Andy: Protective. Employee: Waterproof? Scratch proof? Impact resistant? Andy: Impact resistant. Employee: This one offers protection for up to 10-foot drops onto concrete. Andy: Ahwat about being thrown across a room and then stomped on repeatedly? ...In the event I accidentally read a particular high school friend's political posts on Facebook. Employee: I'm not sure we have anything that can help with that. Andy: Also, I need a new phone.

Idiot Proof

January 19, 2020