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2012

FoxTrot comics by Bill Amend. Updated every Sunday.

FoxTrot comic strip by Bill Amend - "Resolute" published December 30, 2012 - Roger: Do we have any rice cakes? Andy: I don't think so. What for? Roger: I need to lose weight for my New Year's resolution. Andy: I can pick some up next time I go to the store. Roger: Nah, I'll just drive over and get some now. Andy: It's December 30th, the New Year doesn't start for two more days. What's the hurry? Roger: I'm talking about the resolution I made for THIS year. I need to lose 15 pounds by tomorrow. Andy: Roger, relax. We all come up short on these things now and then. It's not a big deal. Roger: Not a big deal?! A resolution is a pledge! Maybe you don't, but I take my pledges very, very seriously! Andy: By the way, I thought your resolution was to lose 5 pounds, not 15. Roger: Turns out I've gained 10. Andy: How very, very, very sad.

Resolute

December 30, 2012

FoxTrot comic strip by Bill Amend - "Packet Analysis" published December 23, 2012 - Andy: Why the big smile? Jason: You know the wrapped gifts under the tree that came in the mail from Auntie April? Andy: Yes... Jason: Well, the one with my name on it just happens to be exactly 6.25 inches wide by 2.875 inches tall by 13.125 inches long and weighs precisely 15.2 ounces! Andy: So? Jason: So those are the exact measurements of the G.I. Jim chemical warfare stink bomb kit I've been begging for! Hee hee...I can't wait to see the look on Peter and Paige's faces when I slowly and deliberately unwrap it right in front of them. I should probably go pick fights with them now, so I'll be justified lobbing bombs right away, Christmas morning! Roger: I thought you said April bought him slippers. Andy: I can't decide if it's kind or cruel to tell him. Jason: Hey, Paige! You're ugly! Come punch me!

Packet Analysis

December 23, 2012

FoxTrot comic strip by Bill Amend - "Cookie Science" published December 16, 2012 - Paige: Peter! Help! Peter: What's wrong? Paige: I'm trying to make Christmas cookies and the stupid dough is sticking to the cookie cutters! What do I do?! Where's Mom?! Peter: I think she's at her book club. Paige: What?! She'll be there all night! I need to have these baked and ready for school tomorrow so I can give them to my teachers! Final exams are this week! Bribery's all I've got left! Look at these things! They're supposed to be cute Santas and reindeer, but they got all pulled out of shape! Who would want them now?! They all look like...like...Actually, I have one teacher who might like them... Man: Are these amoebas?! Call me impressed, Paige! Paige: Why, thank you,

Cookie Science

December 16, 2012

FoxTrot comic strip by Bill Amend - "Stung" published December 9, 2012 - Peter: Nice Hobbit costume. Jason: Thanks. I'm pretty sure I'll be the best Bilbo Baggins at the theater on Friday. My suit is perfect...my walking stick is perfect...my pointy ears are perfect...my hairy feet are perfect...the only thing I'm worried about is this replica "Sting" sword I bought on clearance. Peter: Looks good to me. Jason: How it looks isn't the problem. sword: Ev-ryyy breaaath yooou taaaaake... Jason: I'm guessing there was a slight miscommunication with the manufacturer.

Stung

December 9, 2012

FoxTrot comic strip by Bill Amend - "Dungeon Division" published December 2, 2012 - Jason: As his eyes adjust to the darkness, your wizard finds that he has just walked into...the cavern of a thousand cavern demons!!! Marcus: Eek! Jason: Roll for initiative. Marcus: Wait, that's not 1,000 cavern demons. Jason: They'll be attacking in small waves. Marcus: But that takes away their numerical advantage! The monster manual says they have above-average intelligence! They should be attacking me all at once! Jason: These miniatures are expensive. Three was all I could afford. Marcus: I'm just telling you, it's unrealistic. Jason: Fine. Your wizard has walked into the first of 333 1/3 caverns Marcus: Much better. Thank you.

Dungeon Division

December 2, 2012

FoxTrot comic strip by Bill Amend - "Nutwork Effect" published November 25, 2012 - Paige: Can you drive us to the mall? Please? Please? Please? Peter: No way. That place is nutsy this time of year. Paige: Nicole will go on Facebook and tell everyone how sweet and super awesome you are... Peter: So? Paige: So she's Facebook friends with someone who is Facebook friends with someone whose cousin is Facebook friends with someone who is Facebook friends with Scarlett Johansson. Peter: Really....... Paige: The mall may be nutsy, but fortunately, my brother is more so. Nicole: Do I really have to call him "awesome"? How 'bout "special"?

Nutwork Effect

November 25, 2012