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school, Page 17

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Vacation Memories" published January 12, 2014 - Mr. Ting: Welcome back to biology class. I trust you all enjoyed the winter break. Now then, who can tell me where we left off before the holidays? Anyone? Mitosis? Meiosis? Either of those ring a bell? No? How about genetics? Mendelian inheritance? Fruit flies? Any of you recall our discussing those? What about algae?...Perhaps something about algae?... Girl: (Psst) I'm telling you, Paige, I don't think he remembers? Paige: Sir? I believe we were on chapter one. Boy: EARLY chapter one!

Vacation Memories

January 12, 2014

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "American-ish Government" published September 29, 2013 - Roger: Whatcha studying? Peter: American Government. We have a test tomorrow. Roger: I'm jealous! I loved that class. Peter: Knock yourself out. Here's the practice test. Roger: "The three branches of the federal government that we're allowed to know about are...?" "Name something a U.S. senator does in addition to soliciting campaign contributions." "Outside of talk radio hosts, newspaper columnists, and TV talking heads, who determines whether a law is constitutional or not?" I think I loved a different American Government. Peter: That last one's a trick question - he left out the entire internet.

American-ish Government

September 29, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Test Scheduling" published September 8, 2013 - Dr. Ling: Yes, Paige? Paige: Sir, about next week's test...I looked at the cafeteria schedule and lunch on that day sounds totally vile and disgusting. Dr. Ling: What's that have to do with the test? Paige: This class is fifth period! I can't speak for the other students, but I'm going to have a hard time intelligently answering questions if I'm writhing on the floor fighting nausea and stomach cramps! Dr. Ling: So you want me to postpone it a day? Paige: Actually, the next day's lunch sounds equally bad. Dr. Ling: So when exactly do you propose I give the test? Paige: I figured I'd leave that up to you. Here's the cafeteria schedule. Dr. Ling: You certainly make a compelling case for "never". Paige: Oh, good, so we're in agreement.

Test Scheduling

September 8, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Anxiety Dreamer" published August 25, 2013 - Teacher: Clear your desks, everyone. We're having a quiz on the assigned summer reading. Paige: Not this again! Teacher: Excuse me? Paige: I had this exact same anxiety dream when school started LAST year! I say "what summer reading?!?" And you say "didn't you sign up for the English department e-mails?" Then you say I was supposed to read some huge book like "Moby Dick" and then I freak out and scream and wake up. Teacher: Actually the assigned book was "Animal Farm." It's fairly short. Paige: Ok, so this year's version is SLIGHTLY different. Teacher: Five minutes left, people. Paige: Also last year I would've woken up by now. That's different, too.

Anxiety Dreamer

August 25, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Pencil Test" published August 18, 2013 - Marcus: The square root of 16 plus the atomic number of boron plus the number of lines in a shakespearean sonnet is: (A) 23 (B) 27 (C) 31 (D) 34. Jason: We'll take these two. Marcus: Starting the school year with smart pencils is key. Intercom: Cleanup on aisle five...

Pencil Test

August 18, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Summer Dehydration" published May 26, 2013 - Peter: Looks like SOMEONE's thirsty! Jason: Yeah. Summer vacation always dehydrates me. The warm air outside dries me out...The air conditioning inside dries me out...And then there's the cruelest fluid thief of all... Peter: Which would be...? Paige: Hey, Jason! No math tests for three whole months! Peter: In that case you might want to drink faster. Jason: WAAAAAAA! Quick, grab me a refill! WAAAAAAA!

Summer Dehydration

May 26, 2013

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