Questioned to Death

Published April 8, 2018

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Questioned To Death" published April 8, 2018 - Jason says: As you enter the chamber, you come face-to-face with a 50' tall Balrog wielding a 10; flaming sword! Marcus says: Yikes! My archer readies his bow! How far away is the Balrog? Jason says: 30 feet. Marcus says: Is the floor level? Jason says: Yeah. Marcus says: Are we below ground? What's the barometric pressure? Do the flames from the Balrog create an sort of updraft? What's the humidity? Does the air feel damp or dry? Any particulate matter? Dust? Mold? Pollen? What's the acceleration due to gravity on this world? 9.8 m/s²? What about the coriolis forces? I assume this planet rotates. Jason says: ...And the Balrog dies of old age. Marcus says: Woohoo! Any good loot?