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FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Don’t Be Sour" published June 2, 2013 - Jason: But we have the exact same lemonade! Eileen: Only slightly different reputations.

Don’t Be Sour

June 2, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Summer Dehydration" published May 26, 2013 - Peter: Looks like SOMEONE's thirsty! Jason: Yeah. Summer vacation always dehydrates me. The warm air outside dries me out...The air conditioning inside dries me out...And then there's the cruelest fluid thief of all... Peter: Which would be...? Paige: Hey, Jason! No math tests for three whole months! Peter: In that case you might want to drink faster. Jason: WAAAAAAA! Quick, grab me a refill! WAAAAAAA!

Summer Dehydration

May 26, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Finals Simulator" published May 19, 2013 - Andy: Shouldn't you be studying?? It's finals week! Peter: Mom, relax. Jason's upstairs working on my simulator as we speak. Andy: Your what? Peter: I'm paying him to write me a computer app that will simulate taking the final exam in each one of my classes. It should be pretty sweet. He's using the 3-D engine from "Haloshock Tournament". Astronauts train with simulators, soldiers train with simulators, even some doctors now train with simulators...I figure it's gotta be an effective learning tool, right? Andy: Peter, your first two tests are tomorrow! Peter: Jason says if you'll waive his bedtime tonight he can deliver a working beta by 4:30 a.m. that'll give me a solid three hours for training. You're cool with that, right? I mean, my semester grades are at stake. Make sure the simulator accounts for my eardrums being destroyed. Jason: Was that mom screaming? She's getting louder, have you noticed?

Finals Simulator

May 19, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Field Trips" published May 12, 2013 - Woman: See this big, flat patch of ground? What name would we give it if they grew corn here? That's right! And what would we call it if instead people were playing soccer here? Correct! Now suppose it was full of oil wells. What would we call it then? Jason: I think our teacher takes these field trips way too literally. Woman: Now pretend I had a magnetometer. Who can tell me what that would let me measure?

Field Trips

May 12, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "NDA Tryouts" published May 5, 2013 - Paige: What's this? Morton: It's my signed non disclosure agreement. It prohibits me from publicly divulging any information about our relationship. Paige: We don't HAVE a relationship. Morton: Not, yet, but if somehow we ever did and I told anyone, under the terms of this NDA I'd owe you a billion dollars. In this era of social media, knowing who you can trust to keep private matters private is increasingly important. I thought you'd take some comfort in knowing that my discretion is now contractually guaranteed. Allow me to demonstrate. Pretend you were to say something like "Morton, I secretly love you. You are the hottest guy in the school and especially the robotics club. Let's make out behind the physics lab." Watch how quiet I'd keep it. Oh, wait, I guess you'd need to actually say if for the demo to work. Paige: Morton, dream on! Morton: No, no, it's Morton...I...secretly... Dr. Ling: Did one of you kids drop this $1 billion I.O.U.?

NDA Tryouts

May 5, 2013

FoxTrot by Bill Amend - "Held As Evidence" published April 28, 2013 - Peter: I take it the "Jason-V" was that one the police confiscated? Jason: Yeah. At least I got to meet their S.W.A.T. team.

Held As Evidence

April 28, 2013

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